This 30 Days experiment has revealed to me a part of myself that I was only dimly aware of previously - there's a part of my self that likes to set me up and try and make me fail. It attempts to trap me and keep me down. I don't know why it does this but I am aware of it more than ever. It tries to lure me in with promises of change and success and excitement but then tries to keep me in the same old rut, doing the same old tired things. I need to change this. I also have to want to change this. I think the want is nearly there as well.
The last three days have been mildly productive. I did some study (that's going to be a common theme for the next three months); we both finally filled out those forms I have been blathering about for weeks; I fiddled with our broken camera and narrowed down the problem to the zoom lens in some capacity; I finished backing up the home videos on DVD; I checked out some second hand filing cabinets with a view to picking up a couple for the study/studio/computer room; I took the boy out of the house for a couple of hours to give his mother some much-needed peace and creativity time; and at work I individually numbered 200+ pages in my new files, in amongst the day to day activities that keep the machinery of government working.
Like I said, mildly productive. You can make even the laziest of days seem productive if you go to the effort of listing everything that you have done.
I might not have achieved all that much over the last 29 days, but I am learning a lot about myself and how I work. Trying to make substantial changes to the way I do things without a game plan is like leading my self-confidence to the slaughter. I hope to repeat something like this soon(ish). I intend to be better prepared.
Meal worm in venus fly trap originally uploaded to Flickr by blmurch. Used under a Creative Commons BY-SA 2.0 licence.
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